I’m finally doing something that I’m genuinely passionate about. I’m teaching yoga, and I’m coaching people. I’m an entrepreneur, and I’m creating the impact I’ve always wanted.

But being able to do what you love doesn’t necessarily mean you are happy at the end of the day. At least, this is something that happened to me. 

I was happy with what I was doing, and I was unhappy with how I was doing everything.

This discovery led me to start understanding why I was making myself all the time busy. The story playing in my head was that if I’m not doing something to grow my business and I’m not creating results, I’m failing.

I felt burned out and depressed. I have lost my mojo. 

Fun is part of my values system, but I had none.

Some things had to change.

After a couple of battles with myself and giving up the story that I could do everything by myself, I hired a coach. I wanted back in the game, accountability for the things I want to achieve, and someone who makes sure I’m not playing small.

There are a couple of months right now since we worked together, and these are the lessons I learned on the way:

Clarity means much more than knowing what you want.

When we think about clarity, the first thing that comes to mind is knowing what you want, which hasn’t been my case. I knew what I wanted, but there was still something I wasn’t yet aware of and was holding me back.

As a person who is a hyper-achiever, I’m very focused on getting things done. 

I was so deeply immersed in the future that I skipped my morning meditation routine, which is an important part of my day. My boyfriend knows that something is wrong with me if he doesn’t see me meditating in the morning. So, I wasn’t okay.

What’s important when you start feeling like not being yourself is that it invites you to dig deeper, and this is what I did.

Deep into my work with my coach, I had the realization that I needed to stop and face my emotions. I didn’t need more action, and I needed to start showing up in the present moment.

Big breakthrough here. 

To be in the fire of your emotions was challenging, and it was the hardest thing I have done in the last months.

I went from trying to run away from my emotions to quitting all that I was doing to the moment I allowed myself to sit with everything I was feeling, accepting and coming back to a stronger foundation.

The mindset gets upgraded.

I’ve realized that everything I have built up to this moment has been born because I had one type of mindset. When I wanted to move to the next goal, I got scared, and it was too risky and I was so afraid that I had moments in which my mind would freeze. 

I was too modest even to dare go after what I wanted because the old me was holding me back. 

I mean, how do you leave modesty behind when there was a program you’ve learned since you were born? 

Like any other thing that no longer serves you, I got clear about its presence, learned to accept it, and then I let it go. It felt like I had to let go of an old friend. It was painful because changing one’s identity and redefining oneself is challenging. But I was ready to change and raise myself at the same level as my objectives. 

I was in tears when I realized how modesty could keep me safe but no longer serve me. My parents did a great job raising me to be modest, and it helped me well for a long time. But it was not what I needed anymore in this moment of my life. I decided to keep my down-to-earth personality through humbleness and give up modesty, which was limiting me to staying unaware of my abilities.

At this moment, I know what I want, I’m motivated, and I know why I’m doing what I’m doing, but man, the process of becoming who I want to be is challenging. Trying to figure life up, shape and reshape my identity, and unlearn things about myself to create space for relearning is a process.

It is never going to be easy, but it gets rewarding.

Systems are the things that are moving you forward.

Even though this is my favorite part, I’ve been doing it so wrong in the last few years. 

I used to feel overwhelmed at the beginning of each day because I had no real plan for my day. My mind screamed: work, write, teach, practice, cook, take the dog out, etc., and I felt defeated. 

Things started to shift when I began to plan the upcoming week on Sunday, which gave me clarity on what was coming.

My process looks like this: I add unfinished tasks and upcoming tasks into a Google Keep. Then I look at how I want to spend my week and where I can add the tasks. I start with the most important tasks, move to the less important ones, and add them to my calendar. 

Knowing my priorities helped me understand what goes first in my calendar, what’s the next thing to add, and most importantly when I’m going to do them. I’m also making sure my days have everything in it: from work to leisure, friends, or family.

What can go wrong when you add everything to your calendar is over-planning things, which could be more fun. Today I know I need short breaks of 15-min between calls/meetings. I also add my lunch to my calendar, ensuring I’m taking that time to disconnect from my laptop and phone.

Stay in the process

I’m writing this article this week because it’s the first week I feel at my best after months of confusion.

I’ve been lying low for weeks, doing the internal work, which I believe is the most important and meaningful work I am responsible for.

Today, I feel ready to continue my mission of empowering people to live their best lives while I’m working on becoming my best version.

Alexandra