Maybe something is going on in the Universe having Mercury in retrograde this month, but the truth is that I don’t know much about astrology, and is not even the subject I want to talk about here. Yeah, maybe something is going on, but who knows if we should put our attention in this direction.
I’ve been anxious in the last couple of weeks. That overwhelming feeling that I should do and be more.
Personally, my anxiety also comes with a side of brain fog distracting me from my day-to-day activities and priorities.
And, that’s frustrating.
I’ve been blaming myself for my inability to create results. Up to know, I haven’t seen it like this, but this is one of my blind spots. Instead of allowing myself to create a new powerful experience, I stayed stuck in a disempowering story.
I was aware of my anxiety, so I thought that taking some days off and headed to the seaside for the weekend would help me deal with it. Of course, it didn’t work. Wherever I was going, it was like I was carrying this huge rock on my shoulders. Then, I realized I need to accept how I feel and find a way to get out of that place.
Accepting the fact that I’m feeling anxious made me asked myself – What is my intuition telling me to do? What’s the kindest choice I have available to make myself feel a little bit better?
There are a couple of ways I essentially break down my self-care at this stage. The things that I need to restore myself are talking to someone about it, listening to music, doing yoga, and of course, meditation. For you it might work something else, like going to a spa, taking a walk in nature, running, or using some essential oils. Whatever works, is your friend.
As you already know, yoga and meditation are my biggest allies, and exactly what I’ve been doing. Instead of going for 3-4 yoga practices per week, I went for 6-7.
I went for so many practices because I was in a place in which I couldn’t understand what the message was. When things get uncomfortable, I know I have to be brave, face the situation, and allow myself to be present in the process until the truth reveals in from of me.
Now, let’s get serious.
Fear. More precisely, fear of failure is the root of my anxiety, and it can stay disguised in many forms.
I am aware that fear is here to protect us. Also, fear usually wins. Trying to fight it takes a lot of energy that can be used differently.
For a big part of my life, I’ve let the fear failure stop me from even trying, from even daring to dream. I can blame my parents, the time we are living in, the country I live in, or you name it, but if I want to move forward and transform my dreams into reality, I have to stop blaming others or myself. As my teacher, Baron Baptiste says, “Put your attention on what you want to have happen and be for it.”
Finally, I’ve come to realize that failing is not that big of a deal. It’s all about perspective. When you feel fear it’s a good thing, because it means you are growing, expanding, and improving. But here’s the thing: having the fear is natural. Letting it stop you from going after your dreams is a tragedy. Things might not go how you intended, but at least, you can say you tried.
I finally understand that the real failure would be to look back on life and say, “What would have happened if I had tried?”
Love and light,
Alexandra
